LIVE IT!

Knowledge is already given,it is one step to understand what's happening around us, yet learning is something that we should see. You can never say you learn something without applying it in your life, but still we can consider that as knowledge, a lifeless knowledge without a purpose.

Anong sense ng alam mo ang isang bagay pero wala namang nangyayari sa buhay mo. Naalala ko ang isang kwento ng napaka talinong TAO, magaling sa math, science at english, in fact nag e-excel siya sa academics. Pero pag uwi nya sa kanila, laging nagtataka ang tatay niya dahil sa mga simpleng utos nito ay hindi ito kayang gawin ng anak niya. Dahil dito nasabihan niya ng ganito ang anak niya "Matalino ka nga sa eskwela, pero bakit parang wala kang natutunan? Simpleng gawain lang ay hindi mo magawa ng maayos, hindi ka marunong sumunod!" ....Of course galit ang tatay niya, madalas siyang pagsabihan nito na gamitin niya ang talino niya sa buhay.




Sa totoo lang, ako ang batang iyan. Totoo na nag e-excel ako sa mga academics ko noong bata pa ako, kahit naman ngayon eh, pero madalas sabihin sa akin iyon ng Daddy ko, matalino nga ako pero ang bobo ko sa totoong buhay. Nagbalik tanaw lang ako sa kamusmusan ko at naaaninag ko ang sarili ko ngayon nasa kamusmusan ko noon.


Para daw mag mature ang tao, kailangan nito ng experience, hindi lang puro libro at test papers, kailangan natin ng experience. Ito kasi ang exam ng buhay, hindi para sa grade but for maturity. Eh bakit ba kasi kailangan mag mature? Well, para maintindihan ang mga bagay bagay, If I really want to live in a purposive life, I'll choose maturity.


Kung purpose in life ang hahanapin ko, sure ball ako kay Lord. Kung maturity lang din ang pag uusapan, sure ball din ako sa Kanya. Kung life ang pag uusapan sure ball ka din kay Lord, well All things sure ball ka sa kanya. Kaya I decided to get to know God, syempre BIBLE, Church, Devotion, Prayer and Mentor and BOOOOM, knowledge at dagdagan mo pa ng mga Conference, Convention and Seminars. All these things nakakatulong and it gives knowledge. Pero ang masaklap eh, parang bumalik nga ako sa pagkabata kung saan nag e-excel ako sa papel. Parang ganito yan, "Parang alam mo na hindi mo naman talaga alam"... wala kasing application.


Sabi ng youth pastor namin, "Nothing is learned until it is applied" isang malaking tama. Itinatatak ko ito sa isip ko, pero wala pa din. Sabi naman ng una kong mentor, na teacher ko nung fourth year high school ako "Change is a process, it is step by step." TUMPAK ulit. Pero how about the application?
Ang sagot? "I DO THE RADICAL APPLICATION" gawin mo na ngayon at wag mo na ipagpa mamaya.




Somehow, if failure comes because of disobedience madalas kang mag-iisip na ayaw mo na, i give up, i quit. But God will be there, His grace is more than enough, yun ang totoo, pero dahil nag e-emo ka, iiwasan mo si Lord. Ikaw ang lalayo, soon you'll quit, you'll give up and stop. Ang resulta back slide para sa mga mababaw.


Dati ko nang naisip to, pero chever ko lang ever! Mas mahalaga ang Lord sa akin, iniisip ko na TALO talaga ako kapag ang Diyos na ang nawala sa akin. Ako lang naman ang bumibitaw sa LORD, kaya ako din ang babalik.


Nag struggle ako sa devotion ko, I find out na puro information ang devotion ko at knowledge, walang application. Kung ia-apply ko naman, frustrated to the max talaga ako. Soon, it become worst. Problema na ang oras dahil super busy sa school at nadagdagan pa ito ng character problem ko, plus nagbasa ako ng online love story na hindi masyadong kilala. One of my weakness ay fantasy, isa kasing fiction story yun at nakakarelate ako, nasabi ko pa nga, kaya ko ding gumawa ng ganito. Nahihiya ako kay Lord, from 9pm to 4am gising ako just reading that trash. Fantasy keeps me away from the reality. It will capture me. At isa yun sa mga weakness ko. The next day, I need to talk to someone, who could undestand me, and I have Sarah my sister/classmate, one of my closest. Then, i told her to pray for me, parehas kami na yun ang weakness. Naalala ko tuloy ang binasa kong libro ni Joshua Harris ang "not even a hint"   at sinabi doon na, kapag na-identify mo ang weaknesses mo, run away from it. That day, hindi ako umuwi agad sa bahay, then sarah and I hang out. Para mas makapag usap kami.




Because of these things, i tried to refuse to teach one of the lesson ng Pre-En, di kasi ako ayos, ang buhay ko, character and life style. Nag struggle ako, somehow natatakot ako na if I go and teach, God would not be on my side and will left me. Pero.... Should I stop because of my mistakes? Should I left God with "I don't wanna serve you, I'm unworthy, try to find someone else". Should I? My Youth Pastor Said, "Grab every opportunity to serve God, if you refuse, Satan will surely make a party for you, but if you accept it, Jesus would be very proud of you!" Don't let Jesus down!




Struggles may hinder us from God, but a heart that loves serving and willing to be corrected will find a way to God. Let God moves, trust the Holy Spirit and don't Let Jesus Down! Live in a radical way, obedience and application. FIRE!

Are you Still there?

Thought of being alone? Feeling like carrying the whole world? Ever felt abandoned by someone, by somebody. by everyone?

This past few days, I smile then I cry. I can't feel nowadays the comfort from God, where is the rest? How could I rest? How????

"Take your Pressure as Pleasure" easy to say, but it is hard to do. honestly, I can't take pressure as pleasure, I tried not escape, yet it runs after me. Maybe pressure loves me so much. I want to rest, yet I can't. School works plus Church Thingy and Family Status all together, joined force strikes you! It's Crazy!


School works were very disturbing, as of now I'm experiencing difficulties on research paper and other stuff, minor subject where in between. It is as if everything on school rush towards me. I want to run, but I can't be that coward, I must face it, it just temporary. Yet I know I'm tired, I need God to recharge me. I know It will work. I thought that going home early would help me to rest, but i guess no, of course I need to help at home, do my homework and other stuff. We had a long weekend about 5days without class, but I was not able to enjoy it. It was a plain day with busy things around me, why can't I rest? Why?! Then, I thought Sunday would help me regain my strength, But I guess not. Stress was there, and I can't find the right place to go. Where Am I now? I'm desperate, but I need to go on. My only escape was not to think of any of them. Many times I prayed, "God help me, I can't take this, take this away from me!", no response at all. Are You still there?


We were facing difficulties on Church, and our youth faces a lot of circumstances. This was the stormy season, we were hit by a super typhoon problem and now trying to get back everything into business. Some  youth were gone, some stayed. Orders were coming, I need a cell, out of depression. I was wrong, It just makes everything worst. What to do Lord? Some were hurt and some wants us to learn to go up and continue our race. How could I help somebody If I can;t even help myself. "I need you"


School again, stressing and full of duties, obligated. Dad asked me, why it has been always you who do those stuff, I answered back "though it is I who contributed a lot here, I am also the one who gained a lot, I might be able to apply this in the future." Then, I text somebody," please don't give up on us, just because of disappointment. I plead for our sake", then it replied "With this kind of Accusation, I can't"
My heart is not troubled, troubled with fear, knowing that I might lose a teacher. My mind hanged for a while, no processing of any, just blank, and as I scan status on FB, I found Isaiah 40:28-31


 "Do You not know? Have You not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth, He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even YOUTHS grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall but those who HOPE in the LORD will renew their strength, They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."




These verses answered all my questions, God are you still there? Are you tired of loving me? Why Am I weak till now?... those questions was answered by God. God really spoke to my heart, renew it and fire it once more, telling me not to give up! Never to give up, I'm not alone and True from pessimist, I could find HOPE, In my most desperate circumstance, that is where I am found. ONE MORE ROUND, GOD NEVER GIVE UP SO NEVER EVER GIVE UP THIS BATTLE!!!!