Life is full of pressure. Barely, it depends on the person's point of view. I'm already 18, does it means that I need to view life like a pressure cooker. I often think of my future, how should I live it, to whom should I spend it, what would be my goals.. Such questions puff out of my head a very long time ago. Since, I am the eldest in our family, I got a lot of indirect pressure from my parents. Who could ever thought there is such thing as indirect pressure. Maybe that's how I view it right now. They don't really directly telling me that I should study hard, pressure comes after I will graduate. My mom and dad expects a lot from me, that I should help them and my brothers. I honestly got that point, and I really have to help my family. But getting indirect pressure gets in my nerves.
My heart desires to serve God. That's my priority and of course to finish my bachelor's degree and help my family going. I have a plan to get my master's degree, but still it will be based on our situation.
Right now, we are currently experiencing shortage on our financial status, most of the people do. I used to hear my friends tell stories about this problems, and even my disciples too are experiencing the same situation. Problems indeed are not permanent, and I should be a problem solver, not a problem maker. I want to find a job that suits me, that can cope with my schedule at school and at church. If nothing is available, I have two choices, first give up the ministry and continue to study, and able to support not only my own needs but my family, secondly, give up on looking for a job, continue to study and wait for God's miracles in my life, that He is faithful and loving, merciful and caring God, that he won't leave us nor forsake us. I don't want to chase after success, I want success chase after me because God has already conquer this world.
I don't have any other choice but to put my confidence to God, that he may turn the pressure cooker into a pressure deliverer, through, taking off the cover and let the steam of my success be a sweet aroma before my King.
*this post is supposedly a TAMPOst, puno ng heartache and suicidal thoughts, pero hindi e. Hindi ito ang gustong ipa-post sa akin ni God, and suicidal thoughts are for losers! I am a winner, though I experience such things, I am still a winner, even the greatest leaders of this world feel bad, get into a pressure cooker, but after they overcome such trials, they become a better person, more mature and more beautiful :) HAHAHA. Thank You po Lord!*
