Thursday, November 29, 2012

I am a threat


November 30, 2012
12:45 AM


I had a grand and enormous encounter with the Lord tonight. I never thought that it could make this kind of impact to the point that my family was being used by the enemy to stop me. This excites me, I believe that satan wants to stop me because I’m about to do something really great for the kingdom advancement.

Early this day, nothing was so special. I had to wake up early to get ready for school, and as usual, no professor came up to meet us. The only thing I could look up into is our Women empowerment, but it was 7:30pm. I have a lot of arguments in mind, first, my dad hates me to go home late, and secondly, my body wants to go home and rest, third, my friends and block mates ask me to hang out with them in landmark Makati. I was honestly thinking of going home when I arrived at araneta. I had to kill time, coz cannot go early at AHCC, its too early, as if there is something bad on being too much early.

So I decided and went to the women empowerment, all that was in my mind is this, “sayang naman kasi yung matututunan ko ngayon doon”. Plain as that, I went and go thru heavy traffic at EDSA. I won’t do something like this if it is not for the Lord. I want to learn that’s all I want, that is my motive on going there, though I have no disciples with me.

I have no idea that God would really speak to me there. I thought it would be just another learning, waiting to be set aside. But no!
I have been stagnant for almost 6 months. I felt giving up on the ministry since we lost our youth pastor, but gain hope when mentoring started. I am very thankful that I am one of the disciples of mommy danna, for someone who is forcefully advancing the kingdom of God, it is a really great privilege. It reminds me of Elijah and Elisha. I thought that it will go well with me; I have to suffer from a lot of discomfort inside the church and also from my own parents. My dad have nothing against on me attending the mentoring, it just that, he is against the time when I get home.

Tonight, God showed me 4 things. I am  good. I know that, I do have my devotion and still coping with the core values. Before the event started, I talked to the person next to me, that was Ate Rona, one of my sister in Fire Harvest Church in Pasig. I told her that my prophetic name was GREAT, that’s what I got from my encounter with the Lord. Then, the speaker stood up and said that we will all be talking about promotion. Level up, from good to great. It didn’t hit me, not until the altar call.

Before I went to the front, I am still and praying, God knows my heart and my desire. I just don’t want to cry, I want to be found by my Savior. Then, the speaker calls for the people who desire to speak, to cry out, to ask God. I hurriedly step my feet and face fell down. Its been so long since I was broken at the feet of Jesus. I just want to be found that’s all. I am tired of being unfruitful and useless to God’s kingdom, I am exhausted of hearing and hearing, but not doing. I want to level up in the field of DOING, as I desire it, I search my heart if what is important to my God is important to me as well, I ask God to allow me hear his heart and feel its every beat. I was refreshed, the vision of winning souls in matthew 28:19-20, I claimed it, more than I claim it before. I was hurt and discourage by my past cell groups and current disciples, but God change my course, my path on how should I see discipleship. It is a way of life, that should be enjoyed, that should be cherished. The speaker said that, “for me being a discipler is the greatest profession of all.”

I step out of the church with a peaceful heart, knowing that I would be great in every area of my life, and I am fully aware of the time, it was 10pm, and I may not be able to catch the last trip of shuttle service in our subdivision. But I asked God to intervene, and help me out with this. Surprisingly, I had to go through heavy traffic at EDSA, it was merely 10:45, I was stuck in cubao, and again need to battle with the super mega ultra traffic ahead of us. I was praying, and expecting that my dad would be mad at me. After 2 hours of my journey going home, my dad said that he wanted to talk to me. Before I do so, I talk to God and ask him to give me self control, to help me respect my parents and to show them that I respect their authorities, whatever that my dad would tell me, I just need to accept it and ask for forgiveness. (it sounds really easy, but it’s not)
My dad asked me “ano ba talaga plano mo”, with a really serious tone. I know that he wants to hear something from me, something that I need to choose between mentoring and my respect to his authority. I really feel that I am on trial, but I understand, I really do. That’s why I kept silent. Then I answered, “galing po ako ng mentoring”. Then he started telling me things about the crime around us, pastor’s kid raped or women killed because of going home late. I can never blame a father to care for his daughter, that’s his job and responsibility. So I kept my mouth shut and my ears open. I want to understand them as long as I could. Then he said “mamili ka, mag aaral ka o mag-papastor ka?” then my tears fell, as if being a pastor is a crime, I am not called to be a pastor, I just don’t want to be just plain Christian with plain God. Christianity is an adventure with the Lord, I want to be a disciple maker and a disciple as well. With the vision of God, I found my life worth living. Then I said “mag-aaral po” because that is the right thing to say and should be done. When somebody decide to be a pastor, he does not need to give up his chosen course, education per se, being a pastor is not an excuse to leave school. He added, “di talaga kita maintindihan, kung ano takbo ng isip mo, kung ano ba talaga ang plano mo” and again he said, as if the final verdict, “susunod ka o hindi” with a cracking voice and eyes full of tears I replied “susunod po”.

Respecting my parents shows that I respect my God, though it seems that it was against what I want to do. I want to learn more, and to be discipled by my spiritual mother. If I go against my father, I will be rebellious, and whatever I may learn from the mentoring would be useless. For now, I trust His will and I am very excited what God stores for me. If I am not a threat to Satan, I would not be experiencing this. Thank You Lord because I can feel right now that I will play a great role for your kingdom and I will be able to live up with my prophetic name GREAT.  Glory to You Mighty God! Thank you for the Cross!



Thursday, November 1, 2012

When I saw a shooting star




Little lights that shines above the dark sky, paint me with a smile.

I see you pass by, wiping the night aside

Momentarily, I thought about something nice

Maybe that’s the reason I see you tonight

At once I was star struck

Overwhelmingly, I forgot to wish

In a glimpse on an eye, you say goodbye

I gaze around me,

And saw no one with me,

No one to prove what I witness

First time I saw you, feels like the very last

And every time I stare at the dark sky

Please starry lights, next time you fall

Make me witness once at all.